Sex, Aliens, and Some Nude Pics: A Mass Effect Discussion
by Church Caboose
Summary: A discussion and theory about asari reproduction and evolution. Please come and express your own theories or ideas!


SEX! Oh how we love it. Not even the most devout church going man can deny that sweet blissful 5 second... SHIT MA DON'T COME IN HERE I'M DOING HOMEWORK!

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With that out of the way, a common topic among the Mass Effect Community and games themselves are the many relationships between Shep and the crew *COUGH Jokershouldhavebeenanoption COUGH*. And I'm one of them. I mean come on, have you seen Miranda's ass! The amount of screen time for that thing was astounding!

Now most of you probably don't want a thousand word rant about Miranda's ass. Some of you may be curious as to what the purpose of this story is. Maybe I should get to the point. Unless you all would rather debate and discuss whether Miranda's ass is real or not.

I think I'll save that for a later discussion. Today I'd like to talk about the biology of it, a bit more academic than just goggling over hot blue women. If you're anything like me, you probably wonder how in the hell aliens like the asari are able to have any type of intercourse with human or krogan. And I'm not talking about baby making, I'm talking about the sweet dirty deed after a couple bottles of krogan liquor.

**Warning: **I'm not a biologist, nor a zenobiologist. This is mainly speculation based off of many different theories and my own personal ideas. It is up for discussion, and I encourage you to give your own opinions as well by reviewing. **There will be some explicit material **nothing xxx, it will be more of a discussion on how it works cross species. Young or immature audiences should not continue.

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Asari reproduction is pretty well understood, by most fans of the series, at least. For those that don't know, the asari, through a process called melding, link their minds and nervous system with another sapient creature and copy any favorable traits for the offspring. An asari with a krogan father, more resistant and strong. Drell, better memories and flexibility. And so on. This melding process is controlled by the asari, and doesn't even require sex as we know it. The way it is depicted in the games, an asari could meld with someone on the front lawn and chose to get pregnant with out the neighbors freaking out because their kids might see.

Generally though, the process of melding without creating a child is done between close family/friends or mates (Kind of freaky when you think about it). However, it's not the same as sex as we humans put it. This made me wonder, if the asari don't biologically need sex like we humans and other mammals, then they don't really need a uterus to hold an egg for fertilization, which means they don't really need genitalia like that on human females. So what the hell are Shepard and Liara doing near the end of ME3!?

The only thing that could be between their legs might be some type of birthing canal for the child to be born (That's right I said canal!). There are many theories about how this might have happened throughout their biology. One is that the asari evolved from a dual sex race like our own, but eventually became more unisex and developed a unique form of reproduction that allowed them to tailor make their children. These children would have the very best characteristics from the father, instead of having to rely on luck and cross gene mutations with humans. Not to mention it allowed much easier population control. Now what ever sexual urges they had could be satisfied without the worry of a child. So an ancient group of proto-asari creatures could breed and scour for food. If their "herd" ever began to experience drought, they would just refrain from having as many children to lighten the load for the rest of the population.

This loss of a male/female gender probably led to the development of a unique social structure. There are no subservient or sexiest roles placed on asari, the only subservient choice they must make is which one in the pair will take the burden of having the child. This could give them an even greater edge as the asari, having such long life spans as well, could develop cities and society without any major wars or tensions. Everyone would have been equal. Don't believe me? I point to my favorite episode of Futurama for proof. When the crew crash lands their newly christened Planet Express Airplane-Spaceship, they meet the Rock monster on a mysterious planet that eventually takes away their genders. The group works together amazingly well to create a camp and start to rebuild the ship. True this is a cartoon, but if humans had evolved with no difference between the sexes, we may have been better off. If the two were combined, with the best traits from either sex, men would be less aggressive and frankly stupid. Women would be less emotional and complicated. There is truth to the saying, men are from Mars women are from Venus.

Finally, my main point about this theory, it means that the asari evolved from a species with two genders and tow different genitalia. Since any asari could have a child, when nature had to pick which one to keep, the female obviously won out, how else would the child come into being. So yes it is completely possible for asari to have vaginas, at least for birthing of the children. Taking the reproduction into account, why do they have any need for a sex drive? They can chose when to have children, and biologically they may have the urge to. But why then do asari have sex at all? They don't need to in order to reproduce.

Well this is an interesting debacle. It could just be for their other species mate, who rely on sexual reproduction to reproduce therefore must logically have a sex drive. But this doesn't add up completely. The asari have some obvious signs of pleasure while having intercourse (As shown by the romance scene with Liara in ME3). If they didn't have a sex drive, they would probably look more a stiff piece of flesh. I suppose they could fake it, but, as any guy knows, it's fairly easy to spot a faker from a screamer (For those who don't know, when she does orgasm look at her thighs they'll turn redder and she will visibly shake).

The most obvious explanation is that the sexual urge could be a evolutionary leftover from when the asari were two separate sexes. Humans have several things odd about them that evolution has chosen to ignore as the don't hinder us at all. Most of the examples I can think of are mostly skeletal or organ related, such as your toes, tailbone, appendix, or wisdom teeth. There is however, a trick one can do with their tongue that shows a biological trait that we never needed. Take your tongue and try to flip it upside down as best you can. Then take your finger and rub it along the edge of the tongue. If you rub the right side of your tongue, your brain registers it as the left side. This is because we never had the need to be able to distinguish which side our tongue was being touched while it was upside down. So it's possibly possible that the sexual urge may just have remained far past its usefulness. After all, we live in a more modern society where sex doesn't just mean pregnancy, yet we still fell the urge to do it without wanting the consequences.

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And that's my theory on asari reproduction and sex. Sorry if there were off tangent rants at times. Please feel free to leave reviews and let me hear your theories as to why asari have sex. Maybe you think they give birth through their mouths or belly buttons, and just do insert explicit sex act here. I'd love to know, and if you'd like to punch any holes in my theory go right ahead! And if you have any topics for my next discussion, please feel free to tell me.

I'm also happy to announce that my last Discussion was a rousing success! For those who don't know, this little series I'm running is to bring more people to hopefully like and favorite my stories and hopefully review. And last time I got 1 person, Yes an actual person to visit and favorite my one-shot! So I'll most likely be continuing this series, but I'd like any readers out there to please drop a review to help keep the series going and give me the courage to post crazy over analyses about fictional species and their sexual desires! The last Discussion had a total of 0 reviews, so wasn't too successful in that regard. Hopefully this one will be different.

And to those random readers who came here just to see some actual nude pics..that's all you get!


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